This has been a big theme for me recently when I realised that I will berate myself liberally when painting but not when doing yoga. And then I wondered why I like doing yoga more than painting…
So I decided that I would bring my yoga attitude to my paintings: acceptance, patience, joy, maybe a bit of fun? But for some reason I couldn’t just do this, no, I had to plan some time to sit down and think about this before I did it. Preferably the beginning of this year before I had to just work work work for my first exhibition.
Well that didn’t work out thanks to my 2 week mega cold. So now I’m learning on the job. Less thinking more doing.
I’ve spent the last 2 weeks producing the same kinda stuff I’ve been doing for the past 2 years. They’re good enough, nice solid acrylic painting with the same bright colours. Sooner or later I want to change though (preferably sooner to show that I’m not just “that lady that does those”) I want to progress, try different things, experiment.
So today I’m doing an ink and mixed media painting (also known as using whatever the hell is left over from my school days) which is more based on drawing and tone than colour. That was the plan anyway. I don’t think it’s a great painting and I knew it’d be difficult as soon as I started it.
But that’s not the point, the point is I’m trying something new and I decided to be aware of my feelings and my thoughts as they were happening. I brought all my insecurity with me and it sat with me while I did something I’m not comfortable with. But I did it.
And I’ll do it all over again tomorrow.